Guilt
by Mr. JRyan
Summary: An encounter with a demon shows Dean that while his childhood wasn’t like Max’s… Sam’s was. At least when their father was drunk beyond reason.


**Disclaimer**: I do not receive any profit for my fanfictions, nor do I own Supernatural or Sam and Dean Winchester. I also do not own Max.

**Title**: Guilt

**Status**: One Shot/Complete

**Setting**: After 'Nightmare'.

**Summary**: An encounter with a demon shows Dean that while his childhood wasn't like Max's… Sam's was. At least when their father was drunk beyond reason.

**Warnings**: child abuse

* * *

"You have no idea what he went through, do you?"

Dean narrowed his eyes at the demon in front of him. She looked as if she could pass for a normal human, save the 'eyes that change from full black to full red and back again' part. Actually, her looking him is what had caught him and his brother in her cave. Dean had been flirting with her, and the next thing he knew he had been knocked out. Now the two brothers were chained to opposite sides of the rocky cave, the demon pacing between them.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Dean growled, struggling slightly against the chains. He didn't need help in figuring out who the 'he' she was talking about was. It was obviously Sam. What had happened to his brother that Dean didn't know about?

"Well, I feed off of guilt," the demon said simply, looking over at Sam for a moment. "Your brother holds plenty of that. Mostly over a boy named Max?" She smirked slightly, shrugging. "I got inside his mind, Dean. You know, you should talk to him more. He holds a lot in. Isn't it just so unhealthy to bottle up your emotions?"

"What did he go through?" Dean demanded, glaring at the woman. "What the fuck are you talking about, bitch?"

"So you don't know." The demon laughed slightly and walked over to him. "That makes this so much more fun. Here, I'll extract his memory of the event and then show you."

"Don't touch him," Dean growled, pulling at his chains.

"It won't hurt him," the demon said simply, shrugging. She walked over to Sam and reached out a hand towards his head.

"Please don't show him," Sam pleaded, swallowing hard. He didn't want Dean to know what he had gone through. I'd just cause trouble between the two, between Dean and John. "Please."

"Sorry, but once he sees it it'll create guilt within him… Remember, I feed off of that." The demon chuckled slightly, then placed her hand on Sam's head. At first Sam looked as if he were in pain, but after a moment his face relaxed, and he closed his eyes, leaning into her hand.

"What are you doing to him?" Dean asked quickly, trying to keep the fear out of his voice. "Don't touch him!"

The demon looked over at Dean and nodded, smirking evilly. "Fine. I'm done, anyway." She removed her hand and looked down at Sam, who's eyes were still closed. "Sam, you can wake up now." Sam's eyes slowly opened, and he looked up at her. "Good boy." She walked over to Dean and placed her hand on his head. "Watch."

* * *

"Dean, you can't leave me alone here!" a twelve year old Sam whined as Dean grabbed his jacket and his car keys. The older of the two started towards the front door, his little brother following him quickly.

Dean had just received his driver's license and John had given him his Impala. No way in hell was he just going to sit at home with his little brother while he could be driving around town. "Sam, I'll be gone for an hour at the most. You'll be fine."

"But Dad said that we had to stay here tonight," Sam argued, crossing his arms. He glared at his older brother.

"Well, Dad's going to be gone all night. And I'm sure an awesome little brother like you isn't going to say anything. Right?" Dean smiled at Sam. When Sam didn't lift his glare, Dean sighed, his eyes pleading. "Please, Sam? I won't be gone that long."

Sam thought for a moment, then shrugged. "As long as you take me out for ice cream tomorrow."

"Deal," Dean said immediately. "We'll go to Baskin Robin's. How does that sound."

Sam sighed and nodded, walking over to the couch. He sat down, shrugging. "Have fun."

Dean grinned at his little brother as the younger one grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. "Thanks, Sammy! Bye!"

But Dean wasn't home an hour later. He wasn't even home four hours later. Sam was starting to get worried; his older brother never lied to him, no matter what. Maybe he was hurt… or worse. He couldn't just sit around and do nothing. Dean might need him!

Sam grabbed his jacket from the coat hanger and slipped it on and stepped out the door, just in time to see his father step out of his car. Oh no. John had told the boys to stay in the house, no matter what. He would punish Dean when Dean got home, but Sam? Sam was in trouble now.

"Sam, what the hell are you doing outside?" John stormed over to his son and grabbed his arm, opening the door and throwing the boy inside, who collided with the floor hard.

As his father grabbed him from the floor by the collar of his shirt Sam could smell the alcohol on his breath. Oh no. His father never touched him when he was sober, but… John was a beast when he was drunk. "Dad, please, Dean --"

"You let your brother just leave?" John growled, throwing Sam against the wall. "Where is he, Sam?"

"I don't know. He --"

"Sam, he could be dead!" John pulled back an arm and backhanded his youngest, before throwing him on the ground again. "And it'll be your fault! Just like your mother's death was!" Tears gathered in Sam's eyes, clouding his vision. He let out a small sob as he looked up at his father. "What's wrong, Sam? The truth too much for you?" John then pulled his son up, his hand tight around Sam's neck. He used his other hand to punch the boy. The impact hit Sam so hard John couldn't even keep a hold on him, and now blood was pouring from the young Winchester's nose.

"Dad, please," Sam begged, a few tears falling. "I'm sorry. He wanted to leave."

"You know your brother would do anything for you, **Sammy**." John spat the last word, his voice filled with hate. "And this is how you repay him? You just let him leave so he can die? So I'd be stuck with a weak son for the rest of my life, instead of the better son?"

Sam scrambled backwards on the floor, trying to get away from his father as quickly as possible. "I'm sorry," he squeaked out.

John watched Sam, and chuckled slightly. He then looked around, grabbing an umbrella from near the front door. He pulled it over his head, about to strike the young boy, when Sam's cell phone started ringing. The two looked over at it, then John growled, grabbing it. He threw it at Sam.

Sam looked at the phone for a moment, before pressing 'send' with a shaky finger. "H-Hello?"

_"Sam, are you okay? You sound like you've been crying. What's wrong? What happened? Did something attack you?"_

Sam sighed in relief at hearing his brother's voice. But, yet, after a few minutes they'd hang up and then Sam would no longer be safe from his father. But, for now, it was okay. He knew his father would never dream of letting Dean know that he beat his younger brother.

"I'm fine. I, uh… I was watching a movie. It had a sad ending," Sam lied, looking at his father with hesitant eyes.

_"Well, suck it up. It was just a movie. Well, I'll be home in about an hour. I ran into some girls earlier and we've been hanging out. Will you be okay by yourself until then?"_

"Y-Yeah…" No. No way. John would probably beat Sam senseless. Then again, he couldn't beat him **too** hard. Then Dean would find the bruises and scars when he came home and would figure out what had happened.

_"Alright, cool. You, me, and a tub of ice cream at Baskin Robin's tomorrow, right?"_

"Yeah. Sounds good."

_"Awesome. I'll see you later, Sammy. Bye."_

Sam heard the click on the other end of the phone, and his heart beat fast. Oh no. He was alone with his father.

"Good boy." John grabbed the phone and threw it on the couch. He dropped the umbrella, looking satisfied. "For that I'll allow you to leave my sight as fast as you can."

Sam nodded and scrambled to his feet slowly before running into the room him and Dean shared

* * *

Dean felt like he was going to be sick. He opened his eyes slowly as the demon removed her hand from his head, and his eyes immediately fell on his little brother, who was staring at the ground in shame. "Sammy, why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Sam said softly.

"Sammy --"

"Hey, the boy said he didn't want to talk about it," the demon said, smirking slightly. She crossed her arms, shrugging. "I say we honor his wishes." She walked over to a table on the far side of the cave slowly, looking hesitant. She opened a book, and looked around. "Oh no." The demon quickly faced the brothers and waved her hands, their chains unlocking. "Go. And be happy you aren't dead."

Dean looked at the demon hesitantly, then over at his brother, who seemed to have given up. He wasn't even standing. Dean's eyes darted back to the demon. "Why?"

"Because my father is returning," the demon said, looking scared. "And if he finds that I have let one human, much less two, live for this long he'll kill _me_. So go, before he kills you and your brother. But, keep in mind that I know you two. I'll sniff you out. I'll return."

"And we'll be ready for you." Dean smirked slightly, then rushed over to Sam, pulling him up from the ground. "C'mon, Sammy, we gotta get going."

Sam nodded slightly, his eyes meeting his brother's. It took him a moment, but he finally stood on his own, the weakness in his knees disappearing. "Alright."

As they walked into the motel room, Dean watched as Sam laid down on his bed, closing his eyes. Dean noticed how exhausted his brother was, but this was going to bug him until they talked about it. So the older man sighed slightly, then walked over to his brother, sitting down next to him.

"What?" Sam asked, opening his eyes slightly. When he noticed the look in his brother's eyes, he shook his head. "Dean, I don't want to talk about it."

"Why did you tell me he hurt you?" Dean asked softly, the guilt evident in his eyes and expression.

Sam sighed, shaking his head. He looked away from Dean, out the window, where the stars were shining brightly in the night sky. He knew Dean wasn't going to let it go. Not until he got some answers. After a moment Sam looked back at his brother, biting his bottom lip slightly. "He told me not to. He said that if I told you he'd hurt me worse the next time around."

"Next time?" Dean asked, furrowing his brow in confusion. "Sam, how many times did he do this to you? How many times did he touch you like that?"

"All the time," Sam said quietly, looking away from his brother. "Too many times to count. Whenever he was drunk and you weren't around. He… he always told me that I'd get you killed one of these days, just like I killed Mom."

"Sammy, no," Dean whispered. He lifted his brother up so he was in a sitting position and held him close. He shook his head. "You didn't kill her. It's not your fault. No matter what Dad said. No matter how many times he said it. It wasn't your fault. And if I had died one of those days that I took off it wouldn't have been your fault, either; it was always my decision to leave." And if he hadn't then Sam wouldn't have even gotten hurt… "I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault," Sam said softly, shaking his head. "It was mine. I never fought him off. I… I deserved it."

"No you didn't," Dean said forcefully, pushing his brother back just enough to look in his eyes. "Dad was strong, Sam. You were young. Besides, I would've been scared too… A drunk Dad attacking me? And you didn't deserve it. I swear you didn't deserve it."

Sam nodded slightly and pulled away from his brother. "I'm tired. Can we just go to bed."  
"Yeah, sure," Dean said, nodding. He stood up and watched his brother climb into his bed. He then walked over to his own, crawling under the covers. One sentence kept repeating in his mind: _I'll kill that bastard for ever laying a hand on my baby brother._

* * *

**Haley**: Oh my god, I'm _so_ tired.

**Sam**: Then go to bed.

**Haley**: Dude? It's not even five yet.

**Sam**: Then it's the perfect time for a nap.

**Haley**: I don't do naps. If I take a nap I won't be able to sleep through the night. Though I _should_ go lay down and watch my shows from tomorrow. I had a friend stay the night last night so I never got to watch 'em. We contacted the dead! It was awesome!

**Dean**: Be careful with that stuff, Haley.

**Haley**: Don't worry, we were. We ever brought salt into the room incase an evil spirit decided to interfere. Oh, and we took pictures of my room. Do you even know how many spirit orbs showed up in the pictures? It was awesome!

**Dean**: As long as you're being careful.

**Haley**: Aw, you really _do_ care!

**Dean**: No, I just don't feel like cleansing your house of evil spirits.

**Haley**: You care.

**Dean**: Shut up.

**Haley**: Hey, Sam?

**Sam**: Yes, Haley?

**Haley**: Run.

**Sam**: What? Why?

**Haley**: **_Sets all her Sam-loving reviewers on Sam_**.

**Sam**: **_Staring at girls with wide eyes_**. Dean?

**Dean**: You better start running, cause they're getting close. **_Laughs_**.

**Sam**: **_Starts running quickly_**!


End file.
